So this is how you are going to live..
I have watched people in life. Some people have to go through something before they learn and some learn from others mistakes.
An example of this would be when someone says don’t put your hand on a hot stove. Some listen and some put their hand on the hot stove and get burnt and learn that way.
Everyone of us in this life have an attitude, it is either a positive attitude or a negative attitude. Our thought life determines our destiny.
Keep in mind this, your thoughts become actions, actions become habits and habits become our destiny. To make that simple a person that wants to get in shape gets a plan in their mind, next they take a action, let’s say a treadmill like my friend Tina.
She tracks her progress takes certain actions and if the actions continues they will become habits and she is destined to be in shape.
So we have thoughts, actions, habits, destiny. Now I am going to bring this full circle and point this to problems in relationships or even conflicts in marriage.
First off let’s look at thoughts. We have a situation where a husband and wife are not getting along. Each one has thoughts going on in their mind. Might be positive or negative.
Now they want to deal with a certain situation in order to bring reconciliation and restoration to the marriage. Now they look at each other and they feel they have a RIGHT to feel the way they do and they put being RIGHT over RECONCILIATION.
That person would need a thought adjustment. Now I am looking at this from a Christian perspective. First off God HATES pride:
Pro_8:13 The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.
Pro_11:2 When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.
Pro_13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.
Pro_16:18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall
This is very important area to address, because it was what got Lucifer thrown out of Heaven. Remember he said, I will be like the most high, it was pride, he led a rebellion in Heaven, with a third of the angels and God threw them all out.
Let’s go back to conflict now two people have a situation in a relationship or marriage. One or two of them are upset now. One of the persons might not even know the other is upset about something.
The person let’s just say it is the wife sees that her husband is acting different, she senses something is wrong but he does not say anything.
There are thoughts going through each other’s minds. They begin to act differently. Remember the thoughts are turning into actions.
They begin to think I have a RIGHT to be thinking like this because of what they said. So this normally loving, caring, tender husband thought life has changed and he begins to act differently.
So we want to address our thoughts that we entertain in our minds because they turn into actions. So I’m going to give you a plan today to help from the Word of God.
Well first off I am going to assume you are a Bible believing, born again, child of God. This is what the Bible says:
Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Our thought lives go contrary to the Word of God. Every conflict we have in life has a theological root problem. We need our minds renewed according to the Word of God.
2Co 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
We begin to imagine all kinds of things in our minds. There are so many things that try and exalt themselves against the knowledge of God and His Word. We want to bring into captivity every thought that would try to run around free in our minds and set up residence inside of us contrary to God’s Word.
Believe me, we imagine all kinds of things in our minds based on fear, doubt and unbelief and sometimes just ignorance. We have to stop thinking on the wrong things, bringing those thoughts captive and replace those thoughts with other ones:
Php_4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
There is one thing you do not want to do in your life today or any other day and it is this:
Eph_4:27 Neither give place to the devil.
When you think contrary to the Word of God, when you know the right thing to do and you don’t do it God says it is sin and you are giving place to the devil in your life.
Here’s an example. A wife and a husband get into an argument and it time to go to bed, both are ticked off, both are angry. Now here we have a situation where ignorance is not bliss:
Eph_4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Now if you know you should not go to bed angry and you do it anyway you have sinned a sin of commission. If you know it is the right thing to do by not going to bed and you don’t do the right thing it is a sin of omission.
Sins of omission are not doing things we know are the right things we should be doing.
So we do not want to be proud in our thinking but humble recognizing we are sinning a whole lot more than what we think we are. We want to have the eyes of our understanding open:
Eph_1:18 The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints,
We want to know the things that are wrong to do and the things that are right to do. That only comes by studying the word of God. Sin is a horrible thing, we do not want it in our lives.
So in the eyes of the Lord we are all one in Christ. But in the marriage God has placed a man as the head of his home just like Christ is the head of the Church:
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Now being a woman you might not like what God says to do but the weight of this is on the man, not the woman. Let me just print a couple of more verses and I will close:
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
So we see a pretty big order for a man to fill. A man needs a plan. Fail to plan, plan to fail. It would be ignorant to think you could have a happy home without a plan.
This is where a husband and wife should study the scriptures and find out what the plan of God is for a happy home. Don’t do the things you should not do and for sure do the things that you should be doing.
Closing with this, the longer you keep sinning by not doing what God tells you to do it is just like using drugs or fornication. Your sin is going to cost you more than you are willing to pay, take you further than you want to go and keep your longer than you want to stay.
I realize with couples who do not forgive one another and get things right that day probably do not have the eyes of their understanding open knowing what this sin is going to cost them.
Like I said, ignorance is not bliss. If a person has even gone to church a few times they know they should forgive AND forgive like God does.
Have a a blessed day, let you thoughts be good thoughts creating good actions, creating good habits, creating a good destiny!!!!!